Time Machine Trip to May 1901

May 3, 1901

A son of Wm. Alger was shot in the fleshy part of the right arm by a young companion named Koutnick. The boys had a target rifle out for practice and Koutnick had raised the gun to shoot at a mud-turtle sitting on a log when young Alger stepped in front of him just as the rifle exploded. This is the same boy that had one eye blown out and his hand badly lacerated a year or so ago by exploding a dynamite cap which he found.

Kaukauna never did have much use for Chinamen anyway and now the last Celestial who opened a washee shop on the north side a few weeks ago has pulled stakes and meandered back to Appleton, where they accept most anything to help swell the population.

Owing to the continued dry weather, forest fires have commenced to rage in the northern woods and a number of small towns are threatened.

Clayton, N. M. April 27 – Thomas E. Ketchum, alias “Black Jack,” the notorious outlaw who had terrorized the people of the southwest for the past fifteen years, was hanged here yesterday afternoon for train robbery. His head was severed from the body by the rope. The blood spattered over those nearest the scaffold. 

 Peter Baumgarten, of Outagamie county, a young farmer aged 30 years, advertised in the Chicago papers for a wife. His advertisement was answered by Stella Danner, who confessed her love for the advertiser and invited him to come to Chicago to claim her as his bride. He met Stella at the Northwestern station and Peter found her good to look upon. They went and got a marriage license. Stella then asked him for money to buy the furniture for their new home. Peter gave her $765 and she went away warning him not to stir from the spot until she came back. Peter did not stir until he got hungry. He then consulted the police and they are looking for Stella, who is probably far, far away.  

May 10, 1901

When Landlord Charles Ristau got out of bed Thursday he had occasion to rub out his eyes a second time for his trousers had disappeared. A search revealed them in the sitting room with pockets turned inside out. All outside doors were wide open. His cash register rifled of its contents; a gold watch, and four or five boxes of cigars were missing.

The barbers must grub along for another two years without having to pass an examination and without any license to practice their profession. The barber’s bill failed to pass, and the poor public must continue to run risk of being shaved by incompetents. This will not affect Kaukauna, however, for this city is fortunate enough to have a lot of first class barbers.

Manager Coppes is now able to announce the full organization of 1901 players. They are as follows:

Pitchers, Sweenie, Chicago, Bensel, Green Bay and Hurst of Indiana.

Catchers, Kromer and Parkhurst.

Short stop, Gehr.

1^st base, Heideman and Parkhust.

2^nd base, Schutzke of Milwaukee.

3^rd base, Miller, Schreiner.

Right field, Chas. Phillips.

Left field, Geo. Phillips.

Center field, Essler and Droeger.

Bench, Albright

For the first time in history of Kaukauna baseball each player is under contract.

  

May 17, 1901

The Younger brothers, of Jesse James fame, who have been in prison in Minnesota for over twenty years, have been granted a parole and will go out into the world and try to lead honorable lives.

“Dear,” said the young wife, “I thought you should know there’s a married man who is violently in love with me.”

Who is he? he cried!

“If I tell you will you buy me those earrings I wanted?”

“Yes, who is it?

“You”

May 24, 1901

Steps have been taken in many of the city schools this year to prohibit the presentation of flowers to public and high school graduates during the exercises.

A Connecticut man claims to have discovered the remedy for cancer. It is presumed that when he is asked if he can cure the disease he promptly replies, “I cancer.”

May 31, 1901

A drunken man at Appleton removed his shoes and went to bed on the railroad tracks. Luckily, he was discovered before a train came along and was given a night's lodging in the city lock-up with the usual fine in the morning.

The TIMES is now being folded with the aid of a folding machine which has been added to the equipment of this office. Several hours will be gained and regular delivery guaranteed.

Vienna - Johann Steiner, a farmer married his wife Martha nineteen years ago, when he was 52 and she was 25. In the nineteen years they had thirty-seven children. Triplets three times, twins twelve times, single four times. Of the children thirty-four are living.